Where I've been lately...

Warning, a bit of a rambling post coming. Not too rambling but a little. (See, I've started rambling already.)

I've had a few people contact me, customers wondering when I'm going to be listing new beads because I've been sporadic - at best - lately with putting up new work and friends concerned because I've been a little out of touch.

So, here's the story.

For the past month I've been dealing with a bit of a health crisis. No, that's not right. Crisis sounds definite. Scare is more like it. Anyway, while I've been waiting on all of the test results to come in, my mind has been fully occupied with it. I've tried to stay busy and keep my mind off of it, but it's hard, you know?

I mean, life didn't stop. I still have all my regular responsibilities, but I've been unfocused on work to say the least. I've been busy with other things. I hate to say I've been 'getting my affairs in order' because that's much too drastic. But, if I'm honest with myself, I think that's exactly what I've been doing. Making sure old business is taken care of, updating the photo albums, making sure financials are straight, spending time with my kids. Planning ways to fit in all the things I'd like to do and places I'd like to go, 'just in case'.

I think I took this whole thing so seriously because, unlike some people my age, I don't flutter through life under the delusion that I'm too young for a serious illness. Three years ago I lost one of my oldest friends to ovarian cancer. She was 40 and she left behind her 15 year old daughter. I've seen how it's affected every aspect of that child's life. I sat with her the day she got her driver's license while she cried because her mom couldn't be there to see it. The next year, I lost another friend to breast cancer. She was also 40 and she left behind three beautiful little boys, the oldest was 9, the youngest wasn't even 3 yet.

So I know what can happen to a 40 year old woman.

But, yesterday was a good day. After working myself into a state where I almost threw up in the doctor's office parking lot, I went in and got all of my results and found out that, basically, I'm going to be fine. So, I'm happy today and I'm going to make some beads. I'll definitely be in touch, checking in with friends, reading everyone's blogs and listing new work.

In the meantime, remember to enjoy 'now' and don't spend all of your time planning for 'someday'.