This is going to be a quick post, just to let everyone know that I'm not going to fall back into old habits. I will not let my blog die!
I am committed to harnessing my own energy and making it work for me, setting a goal and achieving it. But, for this year's resolutions, there are no "I will lose 10 pounds" or 20 or 30. There will be no, "I will join a networking group to further market myself and my business".
No, sirree Bob! This year I resolve to:
...Follow my own creative instinct and not be influenced by what the market is craving
...Enjoy my children while they are still interested in being enjoyed. Time races by and, cliche or not, they will be grown and gone in the blink of an eye. I do not want my most important life's work to fall behind and never be accomplished. I will be a good parent
...Make a budget and stick to it. Life is too short to worry about finances every second of every day
...Live a dream. Take something off my list and just do it, no matter how far-fetched it seems
...Finish editing my book and submit it. Four years is long enough for revisions. It's time
...Lose 5 pounds
O.K., old habits die hard. At least I'm more realistic this year.
So, all of that being said, I have worked my ass off this week, even though I have been practically bedridden with bronchitis and I will be posting a load of pictures tommorrow. Before I leave for the beach to watch fireworks, loaded down with a bottle of wine, a blanket, a picnic basket and my wonderful family, I will fulfill my professional obligations.
Promise, even though it's New Year's Eve.
See you in the a.m.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
Merry Christmas
My dad has cancer.
He's had cancer for a long time now. Almost as long as my little boy has been alive. I remember when we first found out. It was just a couple of days before my home was struck by a devastating C3 hurricane. I remember looking out into the night, the winds still howling, seeing through the dark at the destruction of my home, my property, my neighborhood. I remember just standing and crying and saying, "It's too much. It's just too much." For one of the very few times in my adult life, I cried and I couldn't stop.
So now, we wait for his latest scan, to see if he's clear for a while. We hope so. Last year at Christmas, he was in the hospital, an infection in his arm threatening his health, his life even. Now is better. He's feeling good. Things are stable. It's his birthday today and he's made a milestone. He's Stage 4 but he's hanging in, fighting it with that grim, Midwestern determination.
Since my dad was diagnosed, I've lost two friends to cancer. Carol, who was 40, passed away from ovarian cancer, leaving behind her wonderful daughter Meagan who just turned 18.
Beth, who was also 40, couldn't fight off the breast cancer that had robbed her of her own mother at the same age. She left behind 3 beautiful little boys and a husband we should all be so lucky to have.
I know now what I didn't know four years ago. You fight with your heart and with your spirit. It's not just in your body but in all of you. It's sadly ironic that Beth and Carol, both young and vibrant, are gone, leaving behind more than half their lives, their children and families who love and miss them still. My dad, who has lived his life, seen his family grown and gone, fights on.
Merry Christmas, Beth. Your boys will never forget you and I know you watch over them always.
Merry Christmas, Carol. Your daughter is a beautiful, amazing girl and you could only ever be proud of her.
I miss you both.
He's had cancer for a long time now. Almost as long as my little boy has been alive. I remember when we first found out. It was just a couple of days before my home was struck by a devastating C3 hurricane. I remember looking out into the night, the winds still howling, seeing through the dark at the destruction of my home, my property, my neighborhood. I remember just standing and crying and saying, "It's too much. It's just too much." For one of the very few times in my adult life, I cried and I couldn't stop.
So now, we wait for his latest scan, to see if he's clear for a while. We hope so. Last year at Christmas, he was in the hospital, an infection in his arm threatening his health, his life even. Now is better. He's feeling good. Things are stable. It's his birthday today and he's made a milestone. He's Stage 4 but he's hanging in, fighting it with that grim, Midwestern determination.
Since my dad was diagnosed, I've lost two friends to cancer. Carol, who was 40, passed away from ovarian cancer, leaving behind her wonderful daughter Meagan who just turned 18.
Beth, who was also 40, couldn't fight off the breast cancer that had robbed her of her own mother at the same age. She left behind 3 beautiful little boys and a husband we should all be so lucky to have.
I know now what I didn't know four years ago. You fight with your heart and with your spirit. It's not just in your body but in all of you. It's sadly ironic that Beth and Carol, both young and vibrant, are gone, leaving behind more than half their lives, their children and families who love and miss them still. My dad, who has lived his life, seen his family grown and gone, fights on.
Merry Christmas, Beth. Your boys will never forget you and I know you watch over them always.
Merry Christmas, Carol. Your daughter is a beautiful, amazing girl and you could only ever be proud of her.
I miss you both.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Well, s@*#!
I have discovered that my adorable and brilliant son is also a germ carrier extrordinaire. He had the sniffles a few days ago and suddenly I have contracted Typhoid Fever. .... Or a really bad cold.
I have an achey nose, fever, runny head....wait, I think I've got that all messed up. Whatever. I feel like shite.
I love that word, shite. It's so totally foreign and yet so completely familiar. Brilliant! See, there's another foreign yet familiar word. Not that Great Britain is completely foreign. Execpt for some of their food. I mean... Oxtail Soup? Kidney Pie? Blood Pudding? Holy Shite!
All right, let's get off the profanities and move on.
Um, I guess that's all I've got for now.
Oh yeah, more. I'm done Christmas shopping! I even got my kid's picture done. Wanna see? I'll be the first to admit that this is a spectacularly cheesey pose and Connor looks vaugely like a game show host, but still. Cute?
I have an achey nose, fever, runny head....wait, I think I've got that all messed up. Whatever. I feel like shite.
I love that word, shite. It's so totally foreign and yet so completely familiar. Brilliant! See, there's another foreign yet familiar word. Not that Great Britain is completely foreign. Execpt for some of their food. I mean... Oxtail Soup? Kidney Pie? Blood Pudding? Holy Shite!
All right, let's get off the profanities and move on.
Um, I guess that's all I've got for now.
Oh yeah, more. I'm done Christmas shopping! I even got my kid's picture done. Wanna see? I'll be the first to admit that this is a spectacularly cheesey pose and Connor looks vaugely like a game show host, but still. Cute?
OK, now I'm done. Happy trails.
1 comments.
Posted by Rebecca:
Hi Laurie! Thought I'd have a peek at your blog! "Journey's End" is fab and am really pleased to have won New Caledonia. UK food! Yep, all those and more - how about Spotted Dick, Toad In the Hole, Bubble and Squeak, Stargazy Pie, Queen of Puddings? We have so many weird ones! Have to say that Black Pudding (or Blood Pudding) is not my cup of tea, as we say here! Steak & Kidney Pudding though (has to be done with suet and made into a pudding rather than a pie to make it authentic) is FABULOUS! And Bacon Suet Roly Poly - am getting hungry just thinking about it! One slice and you're having to undo the zip on your jeans but ..... ! Anyway, your kids look gorgeous. Am totally in agreement with your take on child rearing, Hollywood and other stuff. I keep a diary but haven't got round to doing an online blog yet - or my book! Have the title and the notes ... must get on with it! Sorry about your father. Mine died two years of early onset Alzheimers and my mother has lost the plot entirely and is on the verge of being committed. Doesn't make life any less stressy - but, hey, it's all a learning experience and a blessing.Have fun.Rebecca
January 20, 2008 @ 9:36 AM
Posted by Rebecca:
Hi Laurie! Thought I'd have a peek at your blog! "Journey's End" is fab and am really pleased to have won New Caledonia. UK food! Yep, all those and more - how about Spotted Dick, Toad In the Hole, Bubble and Squeak, Stargazy Pie, Queen of Puddings? We have so many weird ones! Have to say that Black Pudding (or Blood Pudding) is not my cup of tea, as we say here! Steak & Kidney Pudding though (has to be done with suet and made into a pudding rather than a pie to make it authentic) is FABULOUS! And Bacon Suet Roly Poly - am getting hungry just thinking about it! One slice and you're having to undo the zip on your jeans but ..... ! Anyway, your kids look gorgeous. Am totally in agreement with your take on child rearing, Hollywood and other stuff. I keep a diary but haven't got round to doing an online blog yet - or my book! Have the title and the notes ... must get on with it! Sorry about your father. Mine died two years of early onset Alzheimers and my mother has lost the plot entirely and is on the verge of being committed. Doesn't make life any less stressy - but, hey, it's all a learning experience and a blessing.Have fun.Rebecca
January 20, 2008 @ 9:36 AM
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Where am I?
Have you ever had a moment, not exactly an epiphany but kind of like an awakening? Maybe where you're in your life, doing your ordinary everyday stuff and all of the sudden you're like "Where am I? Who am I and why am I wearing these shoes?"
I, of course, am not meaning in a literal sense but in a soul-deep and much more profound way.
This happened to me last week. I just sort of woke up and was a little bit suprised by the shoes I was wearing and the places I was going and the things that were coming out of my own mouth. How did I get here and is this where I really want to be? What happened to the person I used to be. I was an individualist, a little bit reckless and a lot bit impulsive. I was never a follower, always a trend-setter. I was not Miss Popularity, but I chose specifically the friends I wanted and made them my own. I was a doer, not a planner.
Now I am a planner and a doer. An organizer. I am safe and somewhat reliable, predictable in many ways. I am flip-flops and trips to the mall. I am no longer combat boots and spur of the moment roadtrips.
Of course, some things have to change when you have kids and I recognize that. But my core self? Did that need to change?
And what caused this change? Was it the influence of others, which I have long resisted, lulling me into suburban complacency? Was it the natural desire of the aging to be part of a pack, for the purpose of safety? Was it a desire for conformity for the sake of my children?
I don't know, but I am wondering.
I, of course, am not meaning in a literal sense but in a soul-deep and much more profound way.
This happened to me last week. I just sort of woke up and was a little bit suprised by the shoes I was wearing and the places I was going and the things that were coming out of my own mouth. How did I get here and is this where I really want to be? What happened to the person I used to be. I was an individualist, a little bit reckless and a lot bit impulsive. I was never a follower, always a trend-setter. I was not Miss Popularity, but I chose specifically the friends I wanted and made them my own. I was a doer, not a planner.
Now I am a planner and a doer. An organizer. I am safe and somewhat reliable, predictable in many ways. I am flip-flops and trips to the mall. I am no longer combat boots and spur of the moment roadtrips.
Of course, some things have to change when you have kids and I recognize that. But my core self? Did that need to change?
And what caused this change? Was it the influence of others, which I have long resisted, lulling me into suburban complacency? Was it the natural desire of the aging to be part of a pack, for the purpose of safety? Was it a desire for conformity for the sake of my children?
I don't know, but I am wondering.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Right, Left, Right
Hi!
Well, I did finish up with my classes, but I didn't get two A's. I got a B in one class. I just couldn't do it. I had time to do the final assignment, but it felt like I hadn't seen the kids in days and nothing was getting done around the house. I had a bunch of bead designs running around in my head and I didn't have time to get to them.
So, I did something I never do. I blew off the last paper. Even as an adult, it's so ingrained into my Midwestern brain to work hard, do my best and finish what I start that I could barely make myself not do it. But I did. I feel so free!
I probably should have learned how to do that years ago. Put the small things aside and focus on the big picture. I wish I had, about a lot of things. Maybe this was like a baby step on my way to bigger things.
No new beads, though. Maybe tomorrow.
1 comments.
Posted by Toni Drew:
Good for you a B is good shoot pat yourself on the back for that. ;)
December 12, 2007 @ 12:53 PM
Well, I did finish up with my classes, but I didn't get two A's. I got a B in one class. I just couldn't do it. I had time to do the final assignment, but it felt like I hadn't seen the kids in days and nothing was getting done around the house. I had a bunch of bead designs running around in my head and I didn't have time to get to them.
So, I did something I never do. I blew off the last paper. Even as an adult, it's so ingrained into my Midwestern brain to work hard, do my best and finish what I start that I could barely make myself not do it. But I did. I feel so free!
I probably should have learned how to do that years ago. Put the small things aside and focus on the big picture. I wish I had, about a lot of things. Maybe this was like a baby step on my way to bigger things.
No new beads, though. Maybe tomorrow.
1 comments.
Posted by Toni Drew:
Good for you a B is good shoot pat yourself on the back for that. ;)
December 12, 2007 @ 12:53 PM
Monday, December 10, 2007
New Leaf Turning
Well, this is me, turning over the proverbial new leaf. Is that a proverb? I doubt but I'm going to leave it in just the same.
Well, I take my last Final tonight and then I'm done with the semester. That's another thing I failed to mention as a potential reason for my 'bad blogging'. I've been in school full-time this last semester. Well, part-time and two-thirds. I have two courses but they both have labs so that equals almost a full course load. For somebody who hasn't been in college for eight years, it's plenty!
I got an A in one class and I'm headed for an A in the other. I got completely swamped and totally stressed out and my husband kept saying things like "Why do you care?" and "The grades don't matter, you're not doing it for a degree."
Is he crazy? Grades don't matter? Puh-lease. I am incapable of doing a half-a** job on anything. Or not intentionally, anyway. Except this blog.
I'm also writing a book. I have been working on it for about three years and I'm nearly done with the final edit. I am hoping to have it ready for submittal sometime in January. Wish me luck.
In my spare time I like to volunteer with turtle rescue, work with puppies and small children and...... wait a minute. What spare time?
However, I did make these beads this week. They will be on eBay tonight.
DUNE
Well, I take my last Final tonight and then I'm done with the semester. That's another thing I failed to mention as a potential reason for my 'bad blogging'. I've been in school full-time this last semester. Well, part-time and two-thirds. I have two courses but they both have labs so that equals almost a full course load. For somebody who hasn't been in college for eight years, it's plenty!
I got an A in one class and I'm headed for an A in the other. I got completely swamped and totally stressed out and my husband kept saying things like "Why do you care?" and "The grades don't matter, you're not doing it for a degree."
Is he crazy? Grades don't matter? Puh-lease. I am incapable of doing a half-a** job on anything. Or not intentionally, anyway. Except this blog.
I'm also writing a book. I have been working on it for about three years and I'm nearly done with the final edit. I am hoping to have it ready for submittal sometime in January. Wish me luck.
In my spare time I like to volunteer with turtle rescue, work with puppies and small children and...... wait a minute. What spare time?
However, I did make these beads this week. They will be on eBay tonight.
DUNE
Painted Ladies - RUMBA
Have a great day!
1 comments.
Posted by Kim:
Are the rumba beads from a Sarah Hornik class? They look like her inspiration. Pretty colors.
December 13, 2007 @ 2:43 PM
Saturday, December 8, 2007
I have fallen back onto the face of the earth!
O.K., news flash here, so get ready........ I am a horrible blogger.
Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but it seems to be true. Not only do I not update on a regular basis, but I also do not respond to people who leave me messages.
Let me 'splain.
First of all, I am inconsistent because I have an extrordinarily dull life. Busy, but dull. There's just not that much going on. I mean, if anyone really wants to hear about my son's kindergarten Halloween party or my daughter's softball hitting clinic, I will be happy to share, but I just don't see it.
Second of all, I have gotten some very nice messages from those of you who have been able to slog through the tedium of this page. I thank you. It makes me feel warm and squishy inside. I would very much like to respond individually, but don't know how. I am dumb. I apologize.
All that being said, Connor's party was a fabulous success and Anna is now the greatest softball player in Central Florida!!!!!!!
Seriously, though, here's some beads I been a 'makin. (pics removed)
Thanks for checking in and I promise to go climb a mountain or go cave diving or something so that I have some good stuff for in here.
Yes, I know it's hard to believe, but it seems to be true. Not only do I not update on a regular basis, but I also do not respond to people who leave me messages.
Let me 'splain.
First of all, I am inconsistent because I have an extrordinarily dull life. Busy, but dull. There's just not that much going on. I mean, if anyone really wants to hear about my son's kindergarten Halloween party or my daughter's softball hitting clinic, I will be happy to share, but I just don't see it.
Second of all, I have gotten some very nice messages from those of you who have been able to slog through the tedium of this page. I thank you. It makes me feel warm and squishy inside. I would very much like to respond individually, but don't know how. I am dumb. I apologize.
All that being said, Connor's party was a fabulous success and Anna is now the greatest softball player in Central Florida!!!!!!!
Seriously, though, here's some beads I been a 'makin. (pics removed)
Thanks for checking in and I promise to go climb a mountain or go cave diving or something so that I have some good stuff for in here.
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