I think I might be done with lampwork.
Don't get me wrong. I love it. Working with glass, making something with my own hands, having a rainbow of light and color at my fingertips. It's great. It's the best job I've ever had and I can't imagine not doing it anymore.
It's just that I seem to lack a knack. Not for beadmaking. I think I'm pretty good at that.
But there are some beadmakers out there who just know how to promote themselves. I'm not one of them. I don't have the ability for self-marketing. I'm not a salesperson and in this economy and this business, you really have to be one.
I just know how to create. The rest of it is hard. It's not me. I don't understand any of it.
Maybe I'm just being pouty because I just spent an alarming two hours pulling stringer and making murrini for a set that it will take me at least four more hours just to make. I'm hot and sweaty, my feet hurt and my back is killing me and I don't even know if the set will sell.
It's not just about money, either. It's about putting your heart into something, working as hard as you've ever worked at anything in your life and then.....well...?
I don't know. We'll see.